Part VII (9 April)

As I sit here
Lamenting my fate
sirens go off
bring me out of my haze
I don't have it so bad
not as bad as I could
I can be happy
it's obvious I should
but I'm not
I don't know why
I feel all melancholy
it's not like I try
I go out with friends
we have a good time
and at the end of the night
I think I feel fine
then reality comes back
and smacks me upside the head
and sometimes I wonder
if I'd be better off dead
then I think of my parents
and what they'd think of that
and realize that, yes
that would make an impact
so I push on
through these muddled days
that can't quite figure out
if the sky's gonna be blue or grey.