CCC

The wounded soul
tormented by memory
anxious to know
yet fearful of seeing
the cause of its pain
the source of the hurt
------------------------
Life is never easy
yet in the emptiness
it almost seems to be
Life is not always hard
but in the gone-ness
of what existed
between you and me
it almost never ceases
to be
A friendship to be cherished
dashed by one moment
of stupidity
followed too late by
lucidity
wiped from the slate
that chronicles this passage
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the loss of a limb can be considered tragic in a mostly physical sense. but the loss of a friend, and a dear one at that, wreaks much more profound and lasting havoc in a person. for with the loss of a limb, physical therapy, combined with a limited amount of occupational therapy, allows the individual to adapt, learn, and move on with their life. it reduces or eliminates completely the phantom pains often associated with such injury. but what about phantom pains of the heart? not the physical blood-pump within the chest, but the emotional center of the human being. sure, psychology and psychiatry can help some, but in reality, who are we kidding? it's just a replacement process. we replace the "bad" feelings with "good" feelings, ones that don't make us mopey and bummed out. but that's the point. we should feel mopey and bummed out. think about it. we spend large amounts of time cultivating specific relationships with people that we regard as assets to the specific social circle we happen to belong to. and when something happens that forces one or more person(s) out of the group, it leaves a void that is extremely hard to fill. the problem is, today we are all so focused on trying to get ahead, trying to prepare for the ever-changing future that awaits, that we have no bloody time to feel morose, depressed, bummed out or even just plain old sad. and that sucks. it takes time to go through the steps of change, to navigate through from denial to acceptance. but no takes the time to do it. that's why there are so many crazy people in our society. repressed grief, social anxiety, gruelling deadlines... it's no wonder to me that people go postal on each other the way they do. the need a method to cope, to vent their destructive emotions, but in this supposedly "enlightened" society where it's "okay" to be in-touch with one's inner-self, being public with one's feelings and emotions still has a negative social stigma attached to it. I would argue that this stigma has become stronger, because on the surface, John Q. appears to be supportive and understanding, but it's a totally different story at home in the dining room. And that is where the stigma has gathered its strength, because it is increasingly important in this day and age for people with whom one has next to zero daily contact with to think of them in a positive light. It's the unspoken message that shreds the fragile psyche of the "new mellenium person". Nobody's perfect, but they should be. that's what's running through the collective conscience of this new society. I say, nobody's perfect, and why should they be? You are who you are. For God's sake, just accept it. No, actually, for YOUR sake, accept it.

Come on gimme stitches, it's now or never

the stitches in my wrist came out today. I almost hoarfed. First time I've ever had stitches [that I can remember]. don't think I'll do that again, it's not that fun. well, okay, the sympathy and grossness was kinda cool, but overall, not so hot an experience. I'm kinda bummed out right now, cuz it's raining, which means no work, and there's nothing to do around the house. Most of my friends work inside, so they're all working, or they're working out at camp, where I'm not allowed to be if I'm not a staff member or camper. I'm getting restless and twitchy. I need action, something to DO so I can vent a little. I'm not allowed to drum or play guitar for the next coupla days, cuz the doc says the wrist motions could re-open the wound. Can't practise kata for the same reasons. This is stupid...

10 blogshares to the first person to tell me where the title of this entry came from. Actually, it's not that hard, so I'll only give 5 shares.

Potence and Presence

the pain drags me through
darkness hot in pursuit
running for the light
avoiding this fight
----------------------------
the time is all wrong
it's taking too long
the end is not near
but they all flee in fear
----------------------------
standing alone and weak
blood spattered and streaked
falling enemies shout,
their screams drowned out
by the rush of blood through my head.
-----------------------------
soft in the pale moonlight
I watch and wait
you step carefully down the path
towards me
I breathe deep in anticipation
a burst of adrenaline sharpening my senses
the midnite hour is magical
full of wishes, wonder, and passion
as we look up at the stars
and join them
in heaven.

New Post!!

The wedding was okay.... major lack of planning though. PLUS, I got suckered into helping set the whole she-bang up. [screw the corrections from now on... that story to come] Good luck to Mike and Leanna though, even though they'll likely never read this. WHo cares? Not me, too much to do in not enough time. I have picturese of his stag, but they suck, cuz I'm not a photogroahper. Rest assured, it was fun. Almos t got my head pulled off by my brother. I"m now 6'5. I don't think I'm gonna wrestle with him any mmore.

Been working hard witha landscaping crew here in Lloydminster. Learning all sortsa new junk.... like hwo to run stuff over witha skid-steer, how to use a chainsaw properly (keep your hands away from the moving chain, it hurts). Acutally, what happeneed was the saw gave a little kickback just as I finished cutting some shrubs, and jumped up and bit my left wrist. My hand is still kinda numb from the freezing and stiches and stuff, sot that's why my grammar sucks right now. Good thing we're working by the hospital.

Update to come within the month

Peace..

***oOoooOOooggg......

today's gonna be a fun one....

Update

This weekend is my buddy Mike's bachelor party. More to follow. Pictures are a possibility.

and yes, the WHOLE weekend is the party....