Some recent thoughts...

Some recent thoughts...

I was going through some older writings, and found myself wishing I
could feel like that again. What does that say about my spiritual
state? About my focus? What has happened in the last 2 months that has
brought me from such a fantastic high point to this valley bordering
dispair? What has changed?

The only answer is "me". I've changed. But I don't recognize how. I
feel like the same person I was so many weeks ago. Whatever has
happened to me has to have been a subtle shift, a slight change, or
else I am completely blind to myself and might need an evaluation. I
don't know. But hey, if you do, tell me. I'll even enable anonymous
commenting for you.

Always

Here I lay with body battered, spirit shattered, and heart exhausted.  Weeks and months of believing I'm ridding the world of malevolent giants have revealed themselves to be nothing but tilting at windmills.  My eyes have scaled over again; it is hard to see the blessings in this world anymore.  

The wind stirs over me; its coolness brings faint reminders of what I've known... a whisper of memory, a yesterday so long ago.  It brings the call of a name... is it mine?  My reply is but a hoarse whisper passing from a parched throat through cracked lips.  Again the breeze caresses my face...

No- it's not the wind.  A rasp of skin on the stubble of my cheek and my eyelids crack open a sliver.  A piercing silver light stabs at them, then fades into a softer, whiter aura of peace.  I see a face above mine, a familiar shadow radiating love and grace.  

It speaks softly, clearly - "Rest, my son..."

I croak back - "You're here..."

He smiles, and says - "Always."