A rollercoaster week

This week has been one of victory and defeat. High joy and bitter
disappointment. It's gone from smiles to frowns, laughter to almost-
tears. In other words, it's been a rollercoaster of a week.

So then, why am I writing? This is nothing new. These types of weeks
have come before, and they'll come again. It's Life. So what's
different about this one?

Well, I like to think I'm normally a pretty happy person. I'm a look
on the bright side, see the silver linings, glass half-full kinda guy.

But for some reason, this week is crushing me.

Physically, I'm beat up. Every morning I wake with new pains.
Everything from my neck to my ankles, wracked with pain. I pray for
the strength to grit through the pain, at least until I can crookedly
hobble to shower, where the hot water helps loosen tight muscles and
joints just enough for me to towel off and dress. And once I get
moving, I can't stop, or else my body seizes up.

Mentally, I'm stubborn as an ox. But if you whip an ox enough, it'll
move. And that's what's happening. My mental capacities are being
broken down, and reserves are low. Things that are out of my control,
that I can normally just shrug off with an "oh well, what can ya do?"-
type mentality, things like schedules changing, or having to break
plans, or even getting stuck in traffic, these things are really
eating at me this week. My mental discipline is cracking, and my
temper is being exposed (along with a flood of other emotions). You
might have never seen my real temper go odd, but please, take my word
for it, it's a scary beast that once woken, is very hard to put back
to sleep. I have built this wall of discipline around for very good
reasons.

Spiritually - this is where I'm feeling strongest. But I only say this
because it's my spirit, imbued with God's strength and resiliency,
that's keeping me going. My spirit is what rolls me out of bed in the
morning, and keeps me from going completely bonkers during the day.

And this is where I need you to come in.

I need you to pray for me. Pray for protection, because as I am being
weakened, the Enemy is attacking. Pray for strength, for my spirit to
withstand the pressing attacks. Pray for healing, that my body and
mind are restored. Pray for wisdom, to guide me along.

I am weak.

This is very hard for me to admit. Please allow the fact that I have
made this admission to press home the reality of this message.

In weakness, pain, and supplication,

-->Ryan

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