I refuse to play your silly little games

I've never made it a secret that I'm inspired by dark media such as Sin City. And I outright said that the dialogue is written for a character much like Marv. And yes, it is a dialogue, as you will see when all the parts are posted. So really, you can call it what you want, when it's finished, it will be similar in some aspects, and different in others. There are at least 5 more posts to go before this character study is finished; even then, I will still leave loose ends that I can play with later. It's how I write; if you don't like it, don't visit. Just please sign your name to your comments.

A Reflection - Pt. I

"Killing's not so hard. Sure, the first couple of times
it's a bit of a shock to your system, but you get
over it pretty quickly. I've killed just about
everything there is to kill in this world. Animals,
trees, people, their hopes and dreams and faith
in each other... after a while it becomes just
another job, y'know? Just another day at the office.
Only my office is a dirty room in a seedy motel run
by dirty people in a seedy town. They say no one is
born to kill. But they've never met me. Killing's all
I do; it's all I've ever done. And I'm damn good at it."

Forward Farewell

"I've been living a lie
for too long. Every day,
every week, I'm somebody
else. I've burned more passports
than some nations ever issue.
I don't know where home is,
because I don't know where my
heart is. Hell, I don't even know
who's heart I'm supposed to have
right now. Is it the German auto-worker?
The Canadian teacher? The Spanish
doctor? I've been so many people,
I've forgotten my secret identity. I can't
even call my memories my own,
because they belong to my other faces,
my other states of being. My life is
full of experiences that I can never
claim on any resume. And there's no
retirement benefits in this line of work.
The only thing to look forward to is
the bullet that ends my career."

exercising futility

This doom no longer impending
last moments we are now spending
cradling love and hopelessness
with equal gracelessness

Forcing mortality into our faces
with the subtlety of swinging maces
and crushing our illusions of death
with the swiftness of a final breath

Children cry and women weep
while men stand tall and try to keep
emotions in check and a face of granite
while reality pounds and eventually cracks it

The floods rush in
The end begins
and there's no one here able to stop it.

Fiat Lux

The strength of the moment
is almost too much
for the strength of my insecurity.

The moon bleeds its
silver light upon us,
ever beckoning,
ever welcoming,
the expression of truth
that wells up inside
but somehow never escapes
from my heart.

the other coin of the same side

If a woman wants you, and you're like me, you probably won't know it till it's [almost] too late.

If she doesn't, you'll know it in a GD hurry.

Don't make excuses for her either.

There's only enough blood in the male body to think
with one head at a time. Use the one on your neck
first.

Change is inevitable; it's how things work. Don't be
afraid of it.

The faster you drive, the bigger the wreck when you
lose control.

She is not the be-all, end-all of your existence. Just
because you're together now, doesn't mean you have to
stop being who you were. In fact, that's probably the biggest
reason she's with you in the first place.

Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry.
Resolve your conflicts sooner, rather than later; it'll
be better in the long run.

If you think she's using you, she probably is.

If you ever have the thought "Things will get better",
ask yourself, "When did things get so bad that I had to
say that?" The answer to that question can say a lot
about the relationship you're in, and where it's going.

Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it.
Learn from everyone's mistakes.

If there's kids, there's another man involved
somewhere. Make sure it's not going to be an issue.
If it is, re-evaluate.

You can have your guy's nights; let her have her girl's
nights.

Never cross a boundary that she hasn't crossed first,
and never let her cross one of yours that you haven't.

Talking with her won't kill you; in fact, it may just
save your sorry ass.

NEVER put her on a pedestal. She's only human, after
all.

Let it go.

Not all women are bitches.

Don't worry about finding the Right One right away.

It's not always a bad thing to not hear from her all
the time. Remember, she's probably missing you, too.

Remember, [(your age)/2 + 9] = minimum age requirement, and if she's not 18, she's 12.

Never move into her mother's house. Or her father's.

If you can't give her what she needs, then you need to
move on.

There's nothing wrong with compromise. There is
something wrong with appeasement - remember WWII?

Don't expect anything more out of the relationship than
what you are willing to put into it.

Never, EVER, hit her. EVER.