gone

The perfecting of
self with plastic,
booze and nicotine,
through lasers,
fast cars and
magazines, destroying
what once was to
create the "new"
you.

[but I happened to like the "old" you]

This "new" you looks
25
but feels more like
60,
sneers at the content
but envys them
in vain.

[Why? You used to be happy]

Hollowness prevails,
the soul trapped
inside wails to
be set free,
to be allowed to
be seen for who
you are.

[But who are you?]

"There"

"There" is a place
where people's fate
collides with the
wall of time.

"There" is the land
where dreams can stand
unshattered and embraced.

"There" is the time
when I can stop
what I'm doing and
just breathe.

"There" is the ideal
that exists in my mind
that my faith makes real.

5 lines to perseverance

Chin up
keep marching
eventually you'll get there
where ever "there" is
and you can rest.

sidewalk decorations

I was gonna post some bull-fwop poem that I whipped up in 30 seconds flat, just so's I'd have a fresh post this week, but then I stopped, thought, and said to myself, "Self, that's garbage. And if YOU don't like, why the hecks are you gonna post it?" and I realized, hey, I got a good point there. So I'm not gonna post that piece of garbage. Instead, I'll post THIS piece of garbage. So there you go. Actually, there *I* go. Cuz really, I don't post for anyone who happens to read it. I post for myself. And right now, the only thing I have to say to myself is what's just been written.

the now

"It's around 7:00 when I finally park the Grape in the garage.
I'm tired, sore, and hungry. Which means I'm as
grumpy as a geezer with a stuck fart. I get into
my van and take off, grab some Kung-Pow, then peel
rubber home. I have work to do. The thing I haven't told
my bosses yet is that I'm one of their suppliers. And by suppliers,
I mean I supply the one thing that, without which, would cut their
knees out from under them. Bodies.
Not just any bodies, mind you. These people deserve what
they get. They are chosen by some suit in a cushy chair
to go the way of the Dodo for crimes they've committed.
I don't officially exist, but everyone knows that it's not really
that bad of a thing to have around. I'm usually reserved for
traitors and the truly vile. I'm pretty good at making it look
like they do themselves in; a short length of rope and a
tipped over chair is usually good enough to fool most of the local
yokels who respond. But every once in a while a good challenge
comes up, and I have to get creative.
I love my jobs. I love the irony of planting some stiff
3 days after I off him. I enjoy the money I make doing
both jobs. The money from the funeral home keeps me
in Kung-Pow and razor blades, so I can't complain.
Am I happy? I guess. I can't see myself doing anything else
right now. But I can't say what'll happen in a few years.
I live in the now."

voidwalker

"Quickly in, quickly out, if you do
it right there's barely even a mess.
Maybe a little foam, a little slobber,
but there's hardly ever any redness
around. Wire? Huh, you watch too
many movies. Wire's too messy.
And in this business, it's all about
non-existance. I'm a myth; I'm
the monster that everyone knows
exists, but just can't believe it. So I
don't. Easy, right? But I'm tired man.
I'm tired of not being anybody. I
want to be somebody. I want to be
Joe Schmuck filling his mid-sized sedan
with regular unleaded at the cheapest
station in the city. The money's good,
but it doesn't buy what I really want.
I just want a spot that's MINE. One that
I've worked for, earned my right to be
there. Yeah I can buy one, but it just
doesn't feel the same. My whole life feels
like it came off of a shelf somewhere, like
that impulse buy everyone makes that
seems perfect at the time, but when it's all
said and done, what do you do with it?
Where does it go? It doesn't go anywhere,
doesn't belong anywhere. And you can't
return it, because you lost the sales slip in the parking lot."

tear

Words have failed
Structure has crumbled
Ears are not listening
Actions speak louder
But what is louder than indifference?

Lead by doing
Learn by example

So pay attention,
for I have nothing left to say.

wear

drained beyond movement
a dryed-out husk
seemingly hell-bent
on pushing back the dusk
because it's so unproductive
nothing gets done while sleeping
nothing except restoration
relaxation
and all that uselessness
that only serves a body good.